It has recently been reported that as many as 40% of sexually active teens have an STD.

08/05/10
What's Coming Up?
   
.
I W8 is currently talking with schools to complete our Fall 2011 schedule.  Stay tuned.

06/18/08
Got Your I W8 T-Shirt
 
 
Click here for MerchandiseInfo for... ParentsInfo for... TeachersInfo for... Students

For Hypocrites

How do you parent your teen when you transgressed in, shall we say, certain areas of your life during high school or college?  Doesn’t it make you a hypocrite to insist upon standards that you yourself did not keep?

Well, first of all, it certainly makes sense that your judgment is better now than when you were a teenager (see the Teenage Wasteland tab).  So the fact that you think differently about certain subjects now than you did as a teenager is reassuring, above all.  It means that you have a fully-developed pre-frontal cortex!  (Yay!) 

Also, it is very natural to want the best for your children.  Your desires for them are valid, and probably based on truths that perhaps you learned from experience!

A person who has ever made a mistake in life, and now sees a better way to live, is not a hypocrite.  A hypocrite would better be defined as a person who continues to live that lifestyle while admonishing others for doing the same.  If you do currently live a lifestyle that includes sex outside marriage, you may have trouble convincing your teen to choose differently.  But if your squeamishness about the subject is all based on your past, simply put the past behind you, and parent your child.  Consider some of the following suggestions:

1. THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU.  This isn’t about what you did or didn’t do. It’s about what your child is going to do or not do.

2. WHEN TO LIE. In our opinion? Never. Many experts recommend you give an honest answer – or no answer at all.

3. THE WHOLE TRUTH? Try to avoid giving your child more information than she or he asked for.  This is not a courtroom; it’s a conversation.

4. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY. Like other important conversations you’ll have with your kids, the point you’re trying to make is what really matters. In this case, it’s crucial your kids understand that you don’t want them to have sex. Don’t beat about the bush; say so. (“I don’t want you to have sex outside marriage.”) Then give your reasons why. (STDS, pregnancy, emotional issues, reputation, etc.) And yes, it’s okay to have a lot of reasons.

5. WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED? Before you talk, take stock. You’ve lived your entire life in a culture where casual sex is a fact of life. From the headlines on TV to your own experiences, you’ve seen too many examples of how sex can change young lives for the worse. Your own experiences are just part of the bigger picture. The real opportunity here is to share what you’ve learned.

6. DON’T JUST TALK. LISTEN. You can anticipate that your child’s first reaction when you raise the subject of sex will be to be quiet. So do your best to make it a two-way conversation. Ask what they think. Ask if it’s a subject their friends talk about. Ask what they think of celebrities who hook up. Keep asking questions. And listen to the answers.

Some of this content was provided by the Partnership for a Drug Free America.  Please see www.drugfree.org for more discussion on this subject.